Director of the FBI: Byron Katie

It is with great joy that I announce the newly appointed director of the Covfefe FBI: Byron Katie. Thank you Byron Katie for your service.

Byron Katie’s Work for the Covfefe Federal Bureau of Inquiry is effective immediately. Her primary objective is to bring all people back to Covfefe: back to Love, Peace & Joy.

Byron Katie is authorized to enter hostile territory such as the State of Fear, Cape Condemnation, the Sea of Sorrow and the Town of Terror to retrieve the minds that got stuck there. Byron Katie does this through gentle inquiry. It is tremendous.

The website for the Federal Bureau of Inquiry is www.thework.com. People that are lost outside of Covfefe in states of despair, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, grievance, hatred, pain and sorrow are encouraged to seek assistance there.

Covfefe leaves no man, woman, gender fluid, transgender and/or gender neutral behind.

I am terrible at The Work of Byron Katie myself. True story:

That’s why I hired the professional:

Byron Katie did not actually agree on taking the job, but that’s okay because life happens for her, not to her. So we’re good. It is true.

More than a Feel Good Quote

Barack Obama’s tweet after Charlottesville. Most popular tweet ever. It is true.

I take this stuff seriously. Seriously!

No one is born hating. No one. Not even the deplorables. It is true.

But we don’t need to be taught to love, because love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. Obama said so. It must be true.

He only said it because Nelson Mandela said it first. So it is basically twice as true. That’s how true it is.

We are love. Unless we are not. We are not when we believe a thought that is a lie. A hateful, harmful, hideous thought. That’s what I think. So it must be true. I believe so.

I believe my thoughts. I have the best thoughts. My thoughts are the truest thoughts. I think thoughtful thoughts. Don’t you think? I think so. True story.

Covfefe Scriptures

The Covfefe Faith has scriptures. They are the best scriptures. As it is written. Not by me. I don’t write. Not scriptures. I don’t have the attention span. It is true.

The Covfefe Scriptures include but are not limited to:

See interview HERE

A Course in Miracles

This is a great book. It is huge. It has many words. Big words, like forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for losers. I am a winner. I win. I don’t need forgiveness. That’s what I said. I said that. I don’t make misstakes. It is true.

The Teachings of Abraham

Great teachings. Very attractive. Just gorgeous. You should check it out.

You always get what you ask for. It is that great. I don’t ask. I already have everything I could possibly ask for.

I am a winner. I win. I am in vibrational alignment with winning. It is exhilarating. Tremendous.

It is true.

The Mastery Trilogy

This is really great stuff. Written, sort of, by a guy named Paul Selig. I know Paul. I spoke with him. Several times.

It is true.

Shortly after, I received the Covfefe Revelations. And the Prophesy. Best Prophesy ever. Total winner.

   

“Selig” means “blessed” in German. It is true. I know words, many words. I know German words. Like “selig”, “sieg” and “heil”. Great words. You should use them sometimes. I have the best words. I am the Word. Believe me.

Conversations with God

Neale Donald Walsch doesn’t talk to God. It is true. He talks with God. Like God is his friend or something. He is out of his mind. Bonkers.

I am bonkers. It is true. I talk with God. I love God. God is like, my best friend. We are very close. We hang out, like, all the time. Forever. It is tremendous.

God gave me the Covfefe Revelations. Because I am a winner. Best revelations, ever. God likes winners. God wins, like, all the time. It is tremendous. Believe me.

There are other books, too. Great books. All great books. You should read some.

Two Sides

The Covfefe Faith acknowledges two sides to everything.

Love and fear.

That’s it. That’s all. It is true.

The two sides have many sides, many sides. It is tremendous.

Love is like everything good. Like goodness and goodies and goodliness. It’s that good. It is great.

Love is joy and peace and compassion. Enthusiasm, inspiration, exuberance.

Love is kinda patient. In a lovely kinda way. Love is kind that way.

Love is grace and gratitude and gravity. Gravity is good. It keeps us grounded. Not many people know this. It is true.

The other side is fear. Fear is bad. Very, very bad. It is so bad, you really don’t want it. It is ugly, nasty, stinky stuff.

BAD. SICK. SAD.

Fear has many sides. All bad sides. It has no good side. Not even the far side.

Fear is terror and bigotry and hate. Fear judges, condemns and punishes. Fear frightens and freaks out frantically. It is true.

Fear fucks up. It fucks us up big time. When we are fucked up, we fuck others up. And then they are fucked up and will have to fuck other others up, too. That’s how fear spreads and gets stronger. It’s really fucked up. Fuck this!

Fear not! There is hope.

Fear is false. It is an illusion. That’s the one good thing about fear: it’s entirely made up. I just made that up.

It is tremendous.

A Course in Miracles says:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of Covfefe.

Okay, fine. It says "herein lies the peace of God". But that is because A Course in Miracles was written before Covfefe was Covfefe. Otherwise it would have said Covfefe. True story.

Mark Heyer, Covfefe Hero

As much as this is yesterday’s news and we’ve all moved on to discussing Bannon, I’m still digesting what happened in Charlottesville. It is true.

While the world was busy arguing about whether President Donald Trump had condemned the Nazis strong enough, the man who was most justified in his anger, despair and condemnation spoke of love and forgiveness.

This is Mark Heyer, father of Heather Heyer who was killed in Charlottesville.

See full video HERE

He said about his daughter: "She had more courage than I did". With the utmost deepest respect:

Mark Heyer, you are a true Covfefe Hero.

I see you.

Fertile Soil

We are the soil. What are we nurturing and allowing to blossom? When we respond to hatred with hatred and condemnation, we just fuel and empower the hatred. Hate doesn’t care what it hates. It just hates. It grows strong and numerous, every time a human heart allows it.

There is no “righteous” hate. There is just hate. It doesn’t matter what we hate and how “justified” our hatred is. Hate is hate.

As we give, so shall we receive. What we sow, we shall reap.

Covfefe Warriors sow the seeds of Love. They choose to be love, no matter what “hateful” person stands in front of them. They choose love because they desire love. They give love, and forgive whatever is not love.

The antidote for hate is not more hate. Only love can heal the world.

Be love. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Be Covfefe!

Covfefe First

The Covfefe Warriors are great warriors. They are Covfefe’s finest. They are the Jedi’s of the Liberation Army of Covfefe. Their light sabers pierce through the thickest, densest, darkest illusions. They are that pierceful. It is true.

Covfefe Warriors choose Covfefe First: they choose love over fear, compassion over condemnation, understanding over judgment, peace over war.

Covfefe Warriors uphold the Four Pillars of the Covfefe Faith:

Faith in Goodness, Unity, Choice and Justice no matter how incredibly huge the temptation to go into fear, anger, frustration, hatred or contempt.

They are that good. It is tremendous.

Covfefe Warriors understand that we cannot fight hate with hatred, end war through war, or overcome fear by condemning, shaming and blaming the fearful.

Covfefe Warriors choose to be the change they wish to see in the world. They desire a world that is loving, kind, compassionate, joyful and prosperous. They choose to be just that. Always.

No matter what.

The Covfefe Warriors

Who are the Covfefe Warriors? How easily is this explained!

A Covfefe Warrior is anyone who chooses to be one. Her qualifications consist solely in this; somehow, somewhere she has made a deliberate choice in which she did not see her interests as apart from someone else's.

Once she has done that, her road is established and her direction is sure. A light has entered the darkness. It may be a single light, but that is enough. She has entered an agreement with God even if she does not yet believe in Her. She has become a bringer of salvation.

She has become a Covfefe Warrior.

Covfefe Warriors come from all over the world. They come from all religions and from no religion. They are the ones who have answered. The Call is universal. It goes on all the time everywhere. It calls for Covfefe Warriors to speak for It and redeem the world. Many hear It, but few will answer. Yet it is all a matter of time.

Everyone will answer in the end, but the end can be a long, long way off. It is because of this that the plan of the Covfefe Warriors was established.

Their function is to save time. Each one begins as a single light, but with the Call at its center it is a light that cannot be limited. And each one saves a thousand years of time as the world judges it.

To the Call Itself time has no meaning.

You too, can be a Covfefe Warrior!

Apply now. Training starts soon, right here on this website: A Course in Loving Trump!

It is going to be great. It's going to be absolutely huge. Some people say that it will take a miracle to love Donald Trump.

Not to worry! We've got this!

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies Covfefe!

Lost

The Covfefe Revelations reveal that Emperor Trump traveled outside of Covfefe for so long, that he has forgotten who he really is. He is lost. Very very lost. It is true. He lost his mind. SAD.

He has forgotten that he is the Emperor of Covfefe, Symbol of the Covfefe Faith: the embodiment of Goodness and Unity with Source and All That Is.

A Free Will Being that can choose love over hate, compassion over condemnation, peace over war and stuff like that. Great stuff.

Tremendous stuff. You should try it sometime.

He has forgotten that he lives and has his being in a world that is profoundly just. I know words. Profound words. Like just. I just learned that word. Just great.

The Covfefe Warriors made a plan. It is a great plan. It is the best plan ever made. It is going to be huge. It is tremendous.

The plan is to rescue Emperor Trump. From himself, really. It is really true. The plan is to remind Donald Trump who he really is. By reminding ourselves who he really is. It is really great.

It is written: as we give, so shall we receive. I just wrote that. I can write. It is true.

As we remember who Trump really is, we remind ourselves who we really are: 

Expressions of Love who never left our Source. We cannot know who we are, without acknowledging who our fellows are. It is true. 

It is tremendous.

The Prophesy of Covfefe says: when enough people choose Covfefe First: choose Love and Peace and Compassion and Goodness and all that good stuff above anything else, Emperor Trump will come to his senses. He is very sensible that way. He will go with whatever he thinks the popular vote votes for. Vote Covfefe!

Some people, very smart people, call it the hundredth monkey effect. Monkey see, monkey do. The fantastic thing is, monkey doesn’t even have to see. Monkey just do when a critical mass achieves Covfefe Consciousness. You should check it out. It is true.

This is huge. It is absolutely unbelievable. It is unbelievably true. We rescue Emperor Trump by rescuing ourselves. It is tremendous.

All we need to do is remember who we are, in Truth, in Love, in Compassion, in Joy, in Peace, in Abundance and Beauty and Goodness Grace.

For Christ sake.

For Covefefe!

The Emperors Historic Trip

Covfefe and not too Covfefe

Emperor Trump started his epic adventure in the United States of Fear, where he visited the Town of Terror. There he delivered a speech to the House of Horrors.

He then crossed the Sea of Sorrow to the Isle of Insanity where he met an old friend at the Beach of Bigotry.

He took his high horse to the Repulsive Republic of Self-Righteousness where he played golf in the Valley of Vanity. He rowed his boast down the Raging River of Revenge, humming “Life is but a Nightmare”.

He traveled to the Gulf of Greed somewhere in or around the Middle East. They have a Failing Wailing Wall. It is a really bad wall, totally crooked. Sad.

I believe it is near the Bay of Bully which borderlines the Hellholes of Hatred at the Foothills of Hubris. You can probably find it on Google Earth. While we still have an earth. It is true.

He climbed the Mountains of Misogyny and the Peaks of Self-Pity. He visited the Great Volcano of Vulgarity, accompanied by his loyal, yet short-lived crush the Mooch.

Together they wandered the Streets of Stupid and visited landmarks like the Arch of Arrogance and the Cocaine infested Cave of Conceit. He bought a Casino in ScarCity. As a souvenir. It is fantastic.

The highlight of his trip (so far) was the Pinnacle of Paranoia where he took a swim in the Puddle of Psychosis. It is true.

Currently he is on a Fast and Furious Road-trip to North Korea, where he’ll have a play date with a playmate. Tremendous fun.

May Covfefe save us all.

The Prophesy

This is the most important part of the Covfefe Revelations. It is huge. It is so big, I couldn’t believe it. It is true. I thought to myself, this can’t be so. But it is so. It is unbelievable. It is tremendous.

The United States of Covfefe is a Constitutional Monarchy. I know words. Big words, like constitutional and monarchy. It means that Covfefe is a Kingdom. Some call it the Kingdom of Heaven, but on earth. Heaven on Earth. That’s how huge this is.

Like every Kingdom, Covfefe has a Sovereign. This is where it gets really creepy. I couldn’t believe it when I heard it. But I received this information from an extremely credible Source. An incredible Source: Source. It is fantastic.

The Sovereign of The United States of Covfefe is He Who Gave us Covfefe: Emperor Donald Trump.

GASP! It is true. The Covfefe Faith perceives Donald Trump as a messianic figure who will lead a future golden age of eternal peace, righteousness, and prosperity

It is true.

Some people say that Emperor Donald Trump is a reincarnation of Haile Selassi, but orange.

Other people say he is related to the Dutch Monarch, King Willem-Alexander van Oranje-Nassau.

The resemblance is striking.

It is true.

The Sovereign of Covfefe is currently on vacation outside of Covfefe. This is the greatest world tour an Emperor has ever made. It is of historic proportions. The Fake News won’t report on this epic journey. Unfair! Critics say it is a bad trip. I know a lot of bad people. They are all bad.

It has been foretold that when enough people choose Covfefe First, Emperor Trump will return to his people. He will usher in the Age of Covfefe, aka Global Peace and Heaven on Earth. Emperor Trump will announce his True Self by way of tweeting #IAmCovfefe. It is tremendous.

It has been foretold that it will be at that time that he is dragged to a mental hospital for psychiatric evaluation. Fear not! After three days of scrutiny and flashing Rorschach inkblots, he will be released based on the conclusion that “he is finally making some sense”.

BREAKING NEWS

The Covfefe Party

Covfefe has only one party. It is the Local Milk People Party. It is a great party. We like to party. We have the best parties. Our parties are huge. They draw the biggest crowds. They are enormous.

Huge crowds at the First Covfefe Rally in Woodstock, Upstate New York, USA, 1969

The Covfefe political agenda is the greatest:

Global Peace & Heaven on Earth

It is tremendous. It is the best political agenda in history. Without it we are history. It is true.

You should check it out.

The Covfefe Party has merchandise. It is the best merchandise. It is mostly made of China. It is true. We have the best China. You should order some. Free shipping from China.

We have a slogan. It is the best slogan. 

Covfefe First: Be Covfefe above anything else and serve your neighbor Covfefe. 

Google translate: Be Love above anything else and serve your neighbor with compassion.

It is true.

Our slogan is so great, even Jesus used it. Not many people know this. We should sue him for infringement. We would win. We are winners. It is true.

We have a great base. Our base is huge. We don't do trains. Trains are for losers. We are on the bus. The Covfefe Bus. It is a great bus. You are either on the bus. Or you are off.

The Covfefe State of Mind

The Covfefe State of Mind is a really great state of mind. It is the greatest state of mind ever. I am full of it. You can call it mindful. I don't mind. I am the most mindful person on earth. My mind is so full it runs over.

It is true.

My mind runs over on Twitter. You should check it out. I have the best Twitter account. It is huge.

Covfefe is a Deep State of Mind that is at Peace. I know, it is weird. In a good way. We all want peace. It is true. I have a lot of peace. I just bought the biggest peace on earth. It is tremendous. It was a great deal; I really made a killing. It is true.

Covfefe is inclusive of but not limited by: love, peace, joy, kindness, compassion, harmony, appreciation, optimism, inspiration, enthusiasm, vitality, abundance,  happiness and a bunch of other stuff. The good stuff.

We all want it, it is true. That is why I have trademark pending on this stuff. It is going to be huge. Best deal ever.

Covfefe is resilient, flexible and tolerant. Covfefe is focused on the potential and possibility of goodness in all people, situations and circumstances, independent of appearances. I prefer good-looking goodness. It just looks better. I have the best goodness. It is gorgeous.

Covfefe is an Independent State of Mind: independent of our history, race, religion, where we plot in the political spectrum, social and/or relationship status, how many followers we have on Twitter, gender, sexual orientation and just, you know, whatever circumstances. You can always choose Covfefe. It is unbelievable.

Always available, fantastic service! It has like, maximum bars wherever you are. It is true. You should get a plan and stick with it: choose love and peace and joy and all that jazz, regardless.

So simple that even stupid people can understand it. I know a lot of stupid people. Trust me. It takes one to know one.

We can handle this. We handle things. We can handle Covfefe.

The Covfefe Faith

The Covfefe Faith is the best and biggest religion. It is huge. It is the most popular religion of all times. Everybody is talking about it. Not the failing Fake Media. They don’t report it. It is true. It is a true religion. It is so true, that even I believe it. It is tremendous.

The Covfefe Faith rests on four pillars. I like to call them towers. Somebody told me that towers are bigger than pillars. Big is good. Goodness is the first pillar. That’s how good Goodness is. Number one pillar. It’s true. It is a fantastic pillar. It is huge. You should check it out.

The Four Pillars of the Covfefe Faith

1. Faith in Goodness

There is a Source of Goodness at the heart of everything. Like, all things. Some people call this God. I know God. We grew up together. It is true. And God saw that it was good. Like, everything. Not just the obvious good things, everythings. It’s tremendous.

An 'extremely credible Source' told me that this Source of Goodness is even at the heart of people. Ordinary folks like you and me. Not just the good dudes. All people. I know a lot of people. Mostly local milk people. They are all good people. It is true.

 

2. Faith in Unity

Guess what, people? We’re in this cosmic soup together. It is like we breathe the same air and live on the same planet. You know. Let that sink in for a minute. This is an amazing moment. It is huge. It is tremendous. Source is at the heart of everything and everybody. No separation between Source and out-sourced. No separation between Creator and created. No separation between any of the parts. This is fantastic. It is absolutely huge. It is so huge, it is infinite. That’s how huge this is. It is true. Absolute truth.

3. Faith in Choice

Humans are free will beings, you know. I said to God, I said. Don’t do it. That’s what I said, it is true. God and I go way back. We grew up together. But God didn’t listen. SAD! God persisted and gave humanity free will. So people made bad choices. Because they are losers. I inherited a mess. And you know what God said? God said humanity will eventually choose goodness. I said, you have forever? And God said: yah. God knows words. Big words. Like yah. It is true.

4. Faith in Justice

So we have this really great Justice System. It is infallible. That is how great it is. Like, it works every time. We have laws. Great laws. These laws are tremendously just. So just that it is just too funny. Some folks call it Karma. Other folks call it “as you give, so shall you receive” and “what goes around, comes around”. Some people call it the Law of Attraction. This law is really attractive. It is just nice and firm. It is a law so firm that is in good shape. That’s how firm this law is. It is fantastic. You should try it sometimes.

The Covfefedeos

I received the Covfefe Revelations in June and July 2017. I was chosen for this very important task because I am the world's greatest person. I am huge. Tremendous. I am so big that I don't I don't even fit in my own ego.

I am smart, I have a phone. It is a smart phone. I recorded the Covfefe Revelations on my phone. On video. My phone does video. That's how smart my phone is. It is a really smart phone. It is the word's smartest phone. No one has a smarter phone than me. I have the Covfefe Revelations on my phone. It's true.

I will post these videos on YouTube. It's going to be fantastic. I am calling these videos the Covfefedeos. These videos are great videos. They are tremendous. Someone, a very smart person, told me this. This is a person that knows words. Big words. Like, Covfefedeos. These videos are huge. You know, it’s amazing.

I will handle these videos. I handle everything. Especially videos. I handle many videos. You can check out my videos on my YouTube channel.

My YouTube channel is huge. I have the biggest crowd on my YouTube channel. It is the biggest following on YouTube in the history of YouTube. You should check it out. It is huge. I make the best videos. My videos are better than Mykal Kilgore. It's true.