These are the Covfefe Revelations. Somebody told me they are
the biggest revelations of all time. They are huge. Bigger than my barn. I have
a big barn. My barn is enormous.
As was foretold, He Who Gave us Covfefe, hereafter to be referred to as Trump, bestowed
Covfefe upon humanity on May 31, 2017, shortly after midnight:
The blinding flash of the obvious was so bright that
confusion enveloped the earth, leaving most people in the dark as to what the
heck he meant.
Obviously Trump and a small group
of people knew exactly what he meant.
In His Infallible Wisdom, Trump
gave his people a quest for the True Meaning of Covfefe.
A wave of creative genius swept through the lands.
It was not until June 3, 2017, that a humble farmer named
Anna Mae Gold, hereafter to be referred to as “I”, received the True Meaning of
Covfefe. I captured a selfie-video of this historic event on my cell phone and
promptly posted it to YouTube.
This immediately triggered a sigh of relief among the
people and soon peace returned to the land. The Covfefe Quest for Meaning had
been completed and Twitter users from far and wide started obsessing about
something else.
Little did I know my Mission had just begun.
To be continued…
FOOTNOTE
Shortly after, out of the deep blue, Sponge Bob sued me, claiming that in fact he
had received the Covfefe Revelations first. All he had to show for himself was
this.
Needless to say, Sponge Bob became a mere footnote in the Covfefe Revelations.
Needless to say, Sponge Bob became a mere footnote in the Covfefe Revelations.
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